Worlds are colliding today with a flurry of news headlines from the nation’s two-largest oil and gas companies, rivals in the Permian sharing an on-ice partnership in the gift that keeps giving known as South America’s Guyana. Houston-based Exxon and Calif.-based Chevron, the King and Queen of crude production—and last year’s largest megamergers coming in at $60 billion and $53 billion, respectively—have a few things today to share with us mere mortals. Reese Energy Consulting is following the latest from our U.S. oil royalty in three chapters: Hello, Neighbor, Love Me Two Times, and Stuck in the Middle with You.

In an electrical shock to some and a what-the-hell-took-you-so-long from others, Chevron says it will pack up its Golden State headquarters and relocate to Houston, where sources say a neighborhood welcome party could be in order. But maybe not so fast.

Exxon and Chevron have also released simultaneous 2Q earnings reports on this auspicious day, but only one is scoring the love beats. Exxon has announced a $9.2 billion profit, largely resulting from its acquisition of Pioneer Natural Resources crowning it the Permian’s largest producer, and its extraordinary crude production in Guyana. Chevron reported adjusted earnings of $4.7 billion, citing refinery woes but no doubt stymied by last year’s acquisition of Hess Corporation and a 30% stake in the Exxon-led consortium controlling all of Guyana’s oil production.

Which brings us to our third chapter, where we find Chevron stuck in the middle of its Hess buy with Exxon. The King and Queen, locked in a battle of wills over a right of first refusal in Guyana’s land o’ plenty, won’t likely see an arbitration court now for at least another year.