The nation’s energy big dogs are leaping on the opportunities AI data centers offer natural gas producers. Chevron in January came out swinging with plans to build scalable, natural gas-fired power plants next to data centers across the U.S. These behind-the-meter energy generation and storage systems supply power directly to a building without accessing the utility grid. Genius for big dogs with big bucks. Then there’s independent producers like Midland, Texas-based Diamondback Energy, a big dog in its own right with a data center strategy that’s custom fit for the Permian.

Reese Energy Consulting today offers this satirical look at Diamondback’s offering.

Dear AI Data Center Operators and Independent Power Producers:

Looking for cheap land in the heart of the Permian Basin to build large-scale AI data centers? We’ve got you covered with more than 65,000 surface acres and natural gas access to keep those machines calculating, humming, and thrumming around the clock. Diamondback produces about 2 BCFD so supply won’t be an issue any time soon, plus we just made a huge acquisition that’s guaranteed to increase our gas volumes.

We’re also seeking an equity stake in a large, behind-the-meter power plant in the basin fired by our own produced natural gas. If it’s not too much to ask, we’d also like to use some of that power for our own field operations.

Sincerely yours.